


Feeling Loved

by WrittenInkcompetence



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crowley is a bit of an asshole, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Hurt!Crowley, but that's normal I guess, smut later, temporary heartbreak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenInkcompetence/pseuds/WrittenInkcompetence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Winchesters return from their latest hunt they have two things with them: A bruised Crowley in a terrible condition and a demon they have to interrogate. So you are left to take care of the King of Hell which wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t ridiculously in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I publish so be gentle with me. Feel free to leave a comment, doesn't matter if it's criticism or praise. (hint: I like both)  
> You can also read this on my Tumblr http://written-inkcompetence.tumblr.com/  
> Warnings: a bit of cursing, mentions of blood, wounds and violence

Your eyes flickered over to your phone again. No new messages, the clock showed 11:34 pm. They had told you they were going to be back by 11. _No need to worry though_ , you told yourself, _maybe the hunt is just taking a little longer._ But wouldn’t they have called you then? Or did they run into trouble? You groaned. Even though they didn’t always act like it, the Winchesters were fully grown men and completely capable of taking care of themselves. Most of the time at least. Okay you had to admit it: You were freaking worried about the boys. It didn’t even take you that much to go nuts when they left without you for a hunt. Especially a demon hunt. Demons could be tricky. Hard to find, harder to catch and it doesn’t get easier when you want to get your hands on one specific demon while about five others or something were around as well.

You sighed and laidyour book on the bedside table. You had been reading the same page for fifteen minutes now but still had no idea what was happening. It was impossible to focus on fictional characters’ problems when you had your very own worries. Where the hell were they?You had had a bad feeling about this case from the very beginning. At first it appeared as if there were one or two demons running amok in a more or less medium-sized town south of Denver. That wasn’t anything the boys couldn’t handle since they insisted that you still had to recover from the last hunt where you twisted your ankle pretty badly.

You started pacing through the room the silence almost hurting your ears. Even your steps were muffled by the pale carpet beneath your feet. 11:36 pm. You decided that you waited long enough and would go after them now. God knows what kind of trouble they have gotten themselves into this time. They knew that you always started to worry about them and usually somehow managed to message you when the hunt simply took a little longer.

There has definitely been something wrong with this case. You knew as soon as Crowley showed up. For you the demon was a problem in a well-tailored suit walking around and causing trouble. And in your specific case unfortunately weak knees as well. It was almost ridiculous that of all the people you could have fallen for it had to be the King of Hell himself. The casual ‘love’s and 'darling’s he flinged towards you with his almost gravelly voice and the slight hint of an accent… The dark hair paired with dark hazel eyes and a scruff along his jaw… His sense of humour you couldn’t help but smile at… And not to forget his suit and tie and the way he even managed to appear composed and in control when he was literally tied to a chair. Not to mention the casual flirtations and innuendos he directed towards almost anyone remotely attractive and that smirk that seemed to be glued to his face… All of that did things to you you shouldn’t even think about, let alone feel, and the more time you two spent together the harder it became to ignore it. Naturally you hated and enjoyed every moment at the same time.

But he couldn’t be trusted and he wasn’t supposed to be liked. He was the goddamn King of Hell you should constantly look for a way to kick his ass and screw with his plans. Still, you felt this strange attraction towards him. You wanted to kiss that damn smug grin off his face, pull the dark gray tie, run your fingers through his hair and when the boys had him chained up in the dungeon that one time you couldn’t decide if you would rather take advantage of having him completely at your mercy or clean all the blood off his face and take care of his bruises. It was absolutely ridiculous and wrong but you always knew you had a horrible taste in men.

Your mouth twisted into a cynical line while you grabbed you bag and jacket but suddenly your attention was drawn outside when a pair of headlights cut through the darkness of the night. You would recognize this car’s silhouette anywhere and immediately dropped your bag, ignored the various weapons clanging against each other and hurried outside. Two tall figures stepped out of the car and opened the back doors in almost perfect sync. You let out a sigh of relief because at least on first glance they didn’t seem to be hurt. The one you could easily identify as Sam helped a woman out of the car. Her hands were cuffed behind her back and as you came closer you could see a trace of drying blood along her cheek and jaw from a wound right beneath her hairline. Her face was dirty and the shadows of small bruises barely recognizable in the dark indicated that she wasn’t exactly treated gently. „What took you so long?“, you asked maybe a bit rougher than intended and met with Sam’s apologetic smirk. „Sorry (y/n) our little prisoner over here kept us pretty occupied. Hey, could you lend Dean a hand with Crowley?“ You furrowed your brow and wanted to ask what happened but Sam already dragged the barely refusing demon towards the abandoned house you stayed in.

Most importantly, however, was the question why Dean would need your help. Did they decide they would also keep Crowley safely captured in Devil’s trap handcuffs but the Winchester was hurt and couldn’t handle the demon alone? Was Crowley hurt and unable to walk on his own? Or did the worst case scenario apply and they were both hurt? Worry made your shoulders tense as you sped up to go around the car where Dean dragged the King of Hell from the backseat. He smiled at you as you approached him. „Mind to give me a hand? The bastard’s heavier than he seems.“ Your eyes flew to Crowley, who let out an annoyed grunt at Dean’s comment and you inhaled sharply. „Holy shit…“ The demon could barely stand on his own legs and had to grab a hold on the hunter’s shoulder. His suit was full of dirt and dark stains surrounded the torn fabric on his thigh. His face was covered in bruises, the eyes almost shut and he hissed with every movement. You immediately lay his other arm around your shoulder and the three of you slowly moved towards the house. In an attempt to ignore the presence of Crowley closer to you than ever you glanced over to Dean and noticed that his other arm was dangling weirdly. „What about you Dean? Are you okay?“ The hunter threw you a tired but reassuring smile. „Yeah I’m fine that’s just a dislocated shoulder. Sam will fix it in a minute“, he said.

Okay that means the boys were more or less fine, everyone was still alive and apparently they succeeded. For a brief moment you remembered the moment Crowley appeared in the house and explained that apparently some demons didn’t like the way he ruled hell and decided to start their own, independent community or something like that. Long story short Crowley felt like they were a threat because former supporters of Abbadon seemed to like the idea as well and he told the Winchesters that they needed to be „disposed of“. He was, however, pretty determined to join their hunt because he wanted to get the leader into his hands and the boys couldn’t be sure which one of them it was because according to Crowley the whole group regularly changed their meat suits and only he could see the true forms behind the vessels. Sounded like a whole lot of effort to you but who were you to question demons. What mattered was that the boys were back safely and now that the majority of your worries were taken away you started to feel a little pissed. „If you’re almost fine what took you so long?“ Crowley groaned, obviously displeased by the 'almost fine’ but right now you purposefully blocked him out of your mind, tried to ignore the scent of blood mixed with his very own smell radiating off of him… Damnit.

You cleared your throat and resisted the urge to look at the demon’s face by watching Dean instead. „These demons were a bit tougher than we expected. And very determined to kill our patient over here once they found out that we were after them.“ He opened the door with his foot and you maneuvered Crowley through it. Inside you dropped him on the old sofa and ignored wincing and quiet whimpers. Dean faced you and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. „Hey uhm… Listen (y/n), I need to see Sam because of my shoulder and we need to talk to the demon as soon as possible. Who knows how many more of this group are out there. Do you think you can handle Crowley? First aid’s next to the sink.“ Your breath got caught somewhere in your throat and you gulped. „Sure. He won’t do much in this condition anyways, right?“, you managed to say nervously and forced a smile on your face. Dean grinned. „Exactly. Thanks princess“ You pouted a little at the nickname and turned around with a small laugh. Dean left the room and you took a closer look at the miserable pile of demon on the sofa. „I guess I’m stuck with you then“, you said and Crowley laughed breathily. „As if you wouldn’t enjoy it love“ Even though his teeth were clenched together you had no trouble understanding him and muttered: „You wish.“ Then you quickly grabbed the first aid kit.

The old cushions dipped under you weight when you sat down next to him. You refused to look at him and instead rummaged around the box on your thighs in order to find everything you needed. No matter how uncomfortable you felt when you thought about what you had to do now it was more important to take care of his injuries, especially the one on his thigh. Sure, he couldn’t bleed to death, but the sooner he could stand again the sooner he would go away and you wouldn’t have to ignore your rapidly beating heart anymore. So you put a patch on the table next to you and grabbed a bandage, disinfection spray and a pair of scissors from the kit. „Okay I need you to put your leg up here so I can reach it better“, you said and patted your knee. You still refused to look at Crowley’s face even when his leg rested somewhere between you knee and your upper thigh. It felt heavy which made it even more clear how badly it had to hurt. Crowley didn’t even make an attempt to reduce the weight he put on the leg and the small hisses that escaped through his teeth actually made you feel kind of bad for him.

Your fingers trembled slightly when you started cutting open the leg of his pants and carefully parted the cloth revealing the wound and the edge of his red boxers. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes but from the corner of your eye you could see that he somehow managed to bring that damn smirk on his face. „You know if you wanted to get in my pants you could’ve just asked.“ You growled: „Shut up Crowley“ and silently prayed that your face wasn’t as red as it felt. He chuckled but got cut off soon enough when you started cleaning the blood off his thigh with a piece of cloth. This was ridiculous! Seriously, what were you doing here? Nursing the King of Hell, taking care of his wounds and starting to enjoy it in a weird way? That was absolutely not what you wanted. On the other hand it was. But it shouldn’t be.

Also, your feelings were strangely mixed. On the one hand every little groan or hiss that escaped his throat brought you a strange sense of satisfaction but on the other hand you genuinely wanted to help him. This whole situation was a mess but at least that didn’t stop you from feeling more and more confident with every moment. Your fingers stopped trembling and bandaged the cut with tender gestures, careful not to hurt him more than necessary. The task took your full attention so you didn’t even notice that Crowley had stopped making any noise. All of a sudden, however, you noticed the silence in the room and looked up just to meet Crowley’s curious gaze watching you closely. The two of you just stared at each other dumbfoundedly and you finally met his eyes. The dark brown which kind of melted into green at the edges of the iris held your gaze and a strange thought crossed your mind. If this was some crappy teen movie the camera would probably close up on your faces, the surroundings muffled and blurred. You could almost hear the soft music playing in the background desperately trying to create a romantic atmosphere when the average white girl and the average white boy would close the space between their lips.

But this wasn’t a movie and even though the room kind of lost its significance while his face and especially those actually very beautiful eyes seemed to pop out even more nobody leaned in to anyone and you just stared at each other like a deer in the headlights. You felt your cheeks heaten up and thanked the dim lighting that kept your blush from being too obvious but you were still unable to look away until Crowley cleared his throat and broke the awkward eye contact. You would give a lot to be able to look into his head now because while you were busy internally screaming at yourself in a mix of confusion, embarrassment and a rapidly beating heart he seemed absolutely composed yet still a little awkward. Great job (y/n), great job, you probably creeped him out or something.

Little did you know he felt some quite similar emotions. Mainly confusion paired with some awkwardness and a strangely warm feeling rushing through his body. What the bloody hell did just happen? If he didn’t know better he would say that you… cared? Your careful and gentle touches triggered something in him that made him unable to keep his eyes from your concentrated face and for the first time in his long, long life he thought he got a glimpse of what it could be like to feel loved. The way you took care of the wound with tender gestures, obviously careful not to hurt him, left Crowley wondering why you would act like that. It wasn’t like he had been particularly nice towards you. He loved making people feel uncomfortable because it gave him a feeling of power, being in control. He would casually flirt with you and sometimes you’d flirt back a bit, sometimes you would ignore him or tell him to shut up. It was a game he enjoyed to play but of course he noticed that from time to time you would look over to him, stare at him just a bit longer than necessary and blush at his playful advances. Actually he was pretty sure that you had a small thing for him. Not that much of a surprise, he was a powerful demon with a fairly handsome meatsuit after all, but now that he took a closer look at you it was the first time it came to his mind that there could be actual feelings involved. Or could they? He was a demon, he wasn’t supposed to be loved or even liked and you were a human, even worse, a hunter. You weren’t supposed to feel anything except maybe a bit of hate or disgust towards him. No, feelings were out of question. He did appreciate the way you handled the situation though.

Unaware of Crowley’s interior monologue you finished your task and found yourself in a bit of a dilemma. While you were pretty certain that you couldn’t take much more of this lack of space between you and the demon and this whole… thing you were currently in has reached the stage of awkwardness only a dramatic escape could resolve, you also couldn’t just leave him. Maybe the boys needed some information or wanted to lock him up so he didn’t get in their way in the near future. No, there was no way he could be left alone here. You lightly patted his leg and felt a bite of guilt when he winced. „Sorry“, you mumbled and helped him lay his foot on the arm rest by supporting his thigh even though the contact of his skin beneath your fingers made you shiver. A light tremble caught your arm once again when you reached over to where you left the cloth and the patches. You simply couldn’t stand seeing him in this condition. You had developed a soft spot for people who were hurt and your feelings for Crowley didn’t change a thing about that. In fact they only made it worse. Your hand felt a little wobbly when you put a finger under his chin and saw that his eyes once again went wide in surprise. Yeah, you couldn’t really believe it yourself but here you were, sitting next to the man, no, demon, you were supposed to hate and by all laws of the job also kill. His head was kind of resting on your hand and you started to clean off all the blood and dirt on his features desperately trying not to stare at his lips or into his eyes. The piece of cloth was already smudged with his blood and normally he would have complained but this wasn’t normal and Crowley was still caught in his confusion which turned out to be one of the most effective ways to keep him quiet. It was a gift, really, not having him talk on end because if he did you would have to think about whether to ignore him or answer, what to answer without making everything unnecessarily awkward (because that had worked so well so far) and so on. Really, you were grateful for the silence.

Even though you were gentle every contact with a bruise or scratch bit uncomfortably. With his leg in a bandage and the general pain slowly fading away, however, Crowley found it almost… pleasurable. As a demon one had a certain thing for any kind of pain or torture and since he had never been unaffected by you to begin with the way you treated him right now certainly didn’t change that. In fact he kind of wanted to make you look at him and force that focused look out of your face. He also wanted to watch you lose yourself, wanted to finally find out what you looked like when you were underneath him, moaning and squirming. He blinked to get the images out of his head that threatened to come up and decided that it was finally time to make a move. He had eyed you for quite some time now and would even go as far as saying that he was attracted to you and more importantly he would bet his throne that you felt the same way towards him. He had watched you and it couldn’t be more obvious even though you always tried to hide it. But he was good at reading humans and you were no exception. He would just wait until you were done with your current task and…

“There we go”, you interrupted his thoughts and forced a smile on your face. It made you a little proud that you managed to be this close to him without doing anything you would seriously regret. The general awkwardness of this mess was something you could deal with and Dean or Sam could come back any minute so there was no reason to be worried. Plus you somehow thought that Crowley would not harm you. It might be your silly crush that played into this assumption but he had never made any attempt or even hinted that he would want to hurt you so your chances were pretty high, right? Now you just had to wait for the brothers to come to you but judging by the muffled screams and the unpleasant sound of holy water hitting demon skin coming from the other room it would probably take some more time. Time you had to spend with Crowley. Well shit, looks like this mess was far from over, at least more far than you thought. The only good thing was that he finally moved his leg with a small groan so that it would not rest on yours any more. Other than that the demon was still suspiciously quiet. You looked over to him and once again caught him looking back at you. Your (e/c) eyes were immediately locked by his hazel ones and a tingle made its way down your spine causing you to shudder lightly. For a second it seemed like the two of you were caught in another awkward staring contest until he broke the eye contact for a moment to let his gaze flicker down to your lips. Wait what. You had gained a bit of knowledge about body language over the last years and when someone was looking at another person’s lips it was a massive indicator that they wanted to kiss them. You should know, you probably spent more time staring at Crowley’s lips than listening to what he was actually saying whenever he wasn’t talking directly to you.

The King of Hell slowly raised his hand but you barely noticed because you were still far too busy with the internal battle going on in your head. Did you really see that? No you didn’t there was no way he… Well but what if? What if he really felt… But that’s ridiculous he’s a demon, the King of Hell. He doesn’t do feelings. So maybe he fancied you? You flinched when his fingers brushed against your jaw and slowly but confidently made their way towards your neck. Even though you did not really mean to you automatically leaned in to him, which of course didn’t go unnoticed and that special, oh so smug smirk tug at his lips again. You felt like you just bluescreened, your eyes went wide and you stiffened a little but didn’t pull away. Even if you would have been able to move, nothing in the world could make you _want_ to move right now.

Crowley’s face came closer and closer. Was he moving slowly enough for you to refuse the kiss or did your brain just play everything in slow motion? Whatever it was it didn’t matter because his hands wandered into your hair now and your faces were close enough for you to feel his breath. He smelled of sulfur and blood but you could also make out some spice, probably from his cologne and something that just smelled… warm. It was impossible to describe and honestly when your lips finally touched it didn’t even matter anymore because your whole body went into autopilot. Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer, one hand reaching for the back of his head where you tried to get a grip on his short hair. That was when he started to move as well. His lips felt a little rough against your own and you could taste some blood from where they got chapped by whatever had happened on the hunt. His smell was even more intense and the warmth you had smelled before was in his taste as well. It reminded you of cinnamon but you still couldn’t quite place it. Especially not with the way his lips moved against yours, firmly pressing your mouths together. A soft moan escaped you and you could feel his mouth curl up in yet another smirk.The distant sound of heavy footsteps dragged you back into reality and you slowly pulled away, hands still around his neck. Your heart beat rapidly and you felt a little out of breath. “Seems like the Hardy Boys next door are finished”, he murmured and you noticed that his breath came out a little quicker as well. None of you wanted to move but you didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if Sam and Dean found you like this so you pulled your hands back and got up just when the two brothers opened the door. “We’re done here Crowley, she’s all yours”, Sam said and pointed towards the room where the female demon was. The King of Hell slowly got up; apparently he was already healing again. This one time it was a good thing that demons were tough and quick to heal themselves and you couldn’t help but smile while simultaneously trying to make sense of what just happened. Because Crowley had kissed you and it wasn’t a dream or an illusion or a deal, no, a real kiss.  
What the fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley pops in to properly ‘thank you’ for taking care of him earlier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read the first chapter and still came back for the next. This is my first attemot at writing smut so please tell me what you think.  
> Once again, you can also find the while story on my blog http://written-inkcompetence.tumblr.com/ and I will post my stories there first and then on here a little later.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> Warnings: Swearing, (rough-ish) smut

Sam and Dean had spent the time before you excused yourself to bed with filling you in on details about the hunt but honestly you didn’t even listen properly. They seemed to realize that something was bothering you because even in your state of mind you saw the looks they exchanged but you couldn’t be bothered right now. All you wanted to do was get into bed and have a good night’s sleep so hopefully your subconscious could work everything out.

At least that’s what you hoped for. Your brain seemed to have a different idea though and now you had been staring at the ceiling for a good 30 minutes contemplating your life choices. Man that sounded dramatic even when you just thought it. But you were so fucking confused right now, you had every right to be a little overdramatic. Because seriously what the actual fuck. What were you supposed to do now? And the next time you saw him? Because especially when living with the Winchesters avoiding Crowley was impossible. You sighed and squeezed your eyes shut for a couple of minutes before opening them again.  
Suddenly you the unmistakable sound of shoes on carpeted floor. You shot up grabbing the gun on your nightstand and pointing it in the general direction of the intruder. “Don’t move or I’ll give you a nice hole in your chest”, you warned and reached for the light. The lamp illuminated your room and to your utter surprise Crowley stood in front of you, hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face. “Easy there darling, I don’t think you want to do that.” Your eyes went wide and you slowly lowered the gun, desperately trying to buy yourself some time to think about what the hell you were supposed to say. You weren’t prepared for this, whatever this was. So you went for the most obvious question: “What the hell are you doing here Crowley?”

It came out a little harsher than you intended but who would blame you it was close to a miracle that you managed to get out a coherent sentence. Especially since a big part of you wanted to slap him. You didn’t even know where that came from but over the last years you had started to develop the need to slap people when you felt overwhelmed. You blamed your lifestyle as a hunter where violence always appeared to be a solution. Whatever, the demon in your room was more important than your growing use of violence, especially since he took a few steps towards you. You hastily got out of bed, something about him made you want to be ready to escape. His lips were still curled upwards in a mischievous smirk and a look nothing short of predatory was in his eyes, an expression that made you feel like a mouse that was cornered by a hungry cat. But at the same time it shut your brain down completely because sweet mother of sin he looked hot and a light pressure grew between your legs.

“I believe I didn’t have the chance to properly thank you earlier. You know, for taking care of me while Timon and Pumbaa had their fun with the fruits of our hunting time”, he said and you could swear his voice sounded a little lower and huskier than usual. Suddenly your lips felt awfully dry.

“O-oh there’s no need to thank me for that. I just…” You trailed off, not really sure what you wanted to say and it definitely didn’t help that he was still slowly coming closer. If you stretched out your arm a little you could probably touch him and with the bed behind you you felt trapped. You were still convinced that Crowley would never hurt you but there was a tension in the room that made it hard to breathe. It felt as if someone had filled a blanket with stones and put it around your shoulders, it pulled you down but at the same time it was warm. Just really, really uncomfortable and you had to escape it now. The most logical thing to do was to take a step to the side, away from the bed, away from Crowley, away from the eyes that went up and down your body even though you were wearing a T-Shirt that was a little too big and a pair of sweatpants, nothing to justify the looks he gave you. So you put some distance between you and the King of Hell and it did nothing to ease the tension. Great. You thought sarcastically and desperately tried to think of something to do.

Unluckily your brain currently had the thinking capacity of scrambled eggs because it was far too busy asking what the everloving fuck was happening and if you wanted it to happen. Of course you wanted. Kind of. Probably. Who knew if you interpreted his behavior correctly. On the other hand what was there to misinterpret. You knew men and you knew Crowley. The more important question was why you once again found yourself inches away from the King of Hell’s face. Of course your pathetic and halfhearted attempt to get away didn’t stop him.

“But I insist on thanking you and I think we will both come to appreciate it” His voice is almost a whisper but you could hear him without a problem and shivered at the way his accent thickened with every word. When he drew out the word ‘come’ you were close to moaning out loud because the tension was just so unbearable but instead you just licked your lips. The smirk on his face grew into a triumphant smile and he reached behind your head to pull you closer to him. The tips of your noses roughly brushed against each other before he smashed your lips together, kissing you hungrily. You returned the kiss without a hint of hesitation because even though you knew this was wrong on every level imaginable, it was also the thing you have dreamed about for months. Your hands found their way into Crowley’s hair and around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. It was nothing compared to your first kiss with him. This was sloppy, it was hungry, it was passionate. Your back soon hit the wall behind you, Crowley’s hand was buried inside your hair, the other one grabbed your waist and held you close. Your lips parted and united over and over again, filling the room with heavy breaths, soft moans and probably a number of other sinful noises you didn’t even want to think about. His smell and his taste completely cut out the dusty smell of the room and you wouldn’t be able to say if it had been seconds or minutes until you finally pulled away to get some much needed air. A smile found its way onto your face and you decided to just play along with him. It felt so much easier now that you didn’t attempt to think any more. This was acting and reacting, it was right and it was comfortable because you didn’t have to try any more. He wanted you, you could tell by the way he looked at you, his pupils dilated and his breathing heavy. And hell you wanted him. The light pressure between your legs has grown into more of a need than a want. The cards were on the table and all you had to do was play.

“So this is the kind of ‘thank you’ I get? Mh, I could get used to that”, you breathed and smiled at him. Crowley let out a low growl. "Oh I’ve got so much more for you”, he responded and rolled his hips into yours. A soft moan escaped your lips when your hips came into contact and you felt something hardening in his pants. “I-I can see that” The words came out as more of a gasp than anything else and Crowley just chuckled in response until he suddenly brought a bit of space between you and held you at about an arm’s length, hands resting on your shoulders. Even your clouded mind immediately noticed the change in the mood and unwelcomed thoughts started to creep up to you. Did you do something wrong? Or say something wrong? Was someone coming and Crowley heard them? You looked at the King of Hell and tried to read his face, which has suddenly become awfully neutral despite the still dilated pupils and the touch of red on his cheeks. Just as you wanted to ask him what happened his expression changed again to something that looked unfamiliar on him. He put his hand under your chin and looked you into the eyes with what could only be described as sincerity before he asked: “So this is okay then? You want this?” Relief washed over you and you started to laugh. “Are you seriously asking for my consent? As in ‘asking with words’? I always took you for the ‘Take ‘em if you want ‘em’ type to be honest.” You didn’t even know what was so funny about the whole thing, it was actually more romantic than you would have thought Crowley was capable of because obviously he cared enough about you to make sure you didn’t feel forced into anything. There was actually a 99% chance you would swoon over that later on but right now the mixture of sensations and hormones combined with the relief that you didn’t mess this up made you laugh. And there it was again, that look of confusion on his face. It flashed over his features for just a moment before transforming into a smile. “I’m a demon darling, not a monster”, he explained and looked so sincere that the last chuckle died in your throat. His face came closer to yours again and you were once again losing your grip on reality. “Many would beg to differ”, you muttered, “but yes, this is okay.” You beamed at him. “In fact, it’s more than okay.”  
His face lit up and you closed the space between the two of you. At first the kiss was soft and deliciously slow. You moved in perfect unison, when he pushed into you a little more you drew back ever so slightly and when you leaned in to him he did the same for you. It was pure teasing and raw emotions and once again the thought if he might have feelings for you crept up. You knew he couldn’t but right now, he made you feel as if he did. A warmth settled in your stomach that didn’t have anything to do with the arousal you felt and in combination it developed into a mixture that made you feel as if you were glowing from the inside.

Soon both of you began to grow impatient, you wanted more than this. The kiss grew into what it was before. Passionate, sloppy, breathless. Crowley’s hands found their former place again, the one on your waist started creeping under your shirt and when he touched your skin a soft gasp escaped you. Encouraged by your reaction he reached around, holding the small of your back for a moment before his other hand went for the hem of the fabric. You broke the kiss just long enough for you to take a breath and for him to push the T-Shirt over your head until your lips united again.

“You’re wearing more than me”, you managed to say between kisses and his lips curled up into a smirk. He grabbed your waist with both hands and moved a little to the side so that the back of your legs hit the bed. He put more pressure into the kiss and therefor effectively moved you against the mattress. When he hovered over you he broke the kiss again and smirked down on you. “Let’s change something about that”, he replied and started to loosen his tie while eyeing your upper body. All of a sudden you felt exposed and went to cover yourself with your hands but Crowley tossed his tie away and stopped you. “Please, don’t. Let me admire the masterpiece underneath me”, he said softly but with a smirk that could not have been more dirty. Your face heated up and you couldn’t help but smile. A masterpiece? To say something like that was so Crowley because you were certain it could only be an exaggeration but at the same time you felt more at ease. Still vulnerable, but it was okay. Instead of a reply you reached up and started to unbutton his shirt. At first you went slow, you wanted to tease him a little, and admired the smooth, silky fabric underneath your fingers but soon you grew impatient and started to fumble at the buttons. When you finally reached the last one you pushed his shirt and his jacket from his shoulders in a go and he got his arms out and carelessly tossed the clothing aside. There was something in his eyes that told you he didn’t want to wait any longer either. His fingers traced your jawline and tilted your head to the side so that he could start kissing up and down your neck and shoulder, leaving gentle bites here and there the made you moan embarrassingly loud. Your hands ran up and down his back, nails lightly raking over the skin and you could feel him shudder. A soft groan escaped him and left your neck to go lower until he placed his open mouthed kisses and bites on your chest. When he reached one of your nipples he sealed his lips around it and his hand came up to cup your other breast. A low, raspy “Fuck” left your mouth and you arched into his touch while tightly gripping his hips. Your nails dug into the skin which seemed to encourage him even more because he started to take your other nipple between two fingers.

“Crowley” His name left your mouth without effort and he moaned at the sound of your voice so husky and filled with lust. His hands wandered down to your hips where he grabbed the waistband of your pants and panties and dragged them down to your knees. You kicked them away and trailed your fingers from his hips along his belt to the buckle. Crowley sat up on his knees and watched you undo the belt and open his slacks. The obvious tent made you subconsciously bite your lips before you pushed his pants down as far as you could in your current position and did the same to his boxers. When his cock sprung free he didn’t give you any time to react and instead pushed you into the mattress again. “Now let’s see how badly you really want me.”

All his teasing had you so worked up that his finger effortlessly slid through your folds and you desperately ground against his hand. Right now you didn’t care about whether there were feelings involved anywhere or about your dignity or anything except his finger slowly entering you. You wiggled your hips impatiently, hoping that it would stop him from being such a goddamned tease but all you earned yourself was a breathy chuckle. “Well someone’s eager pet” Suddenly he crooked his finger and drew it back before rubbing heavy circles around your clit. You threw back your head and cried out, closing your eyes in pleasure, to which Crowley reacted by pulling at the roots of your hair with his free hand. Another deep moan left your throat. “You like that love, don’t you? My, my, you are kinkier than I would have thought.” His mouth came close to your ear and he whispered: “I want you to look at me though” before biting your earlobe. With a shaky breath you forced your eyes open and gasped at the unmasked desire you saw on his face, an expression closer to hunger than simple lust. He smirked. “What do you think, how long will it take me to make you come?”, he asked and you briefly wondered how he managed to keep his voice this steady except for the heavy breaths laced with each word and the deep, husky tone because you could barely form a coherent thought. His smell was intoxicating and the way his fingers skillfully applied heavy pressure to your clit left you moaning and writhing.

Every stroke pushed you a little closer towards the bliss of release and you clenched your thighs around his hand, struggling to keep looking at him. You were so close, just a little more… “Crowley, please”, you rasped and bucked into his hand.

“That’s what I like to hear pet”, he growls and dipped two fingers inside of you, crooked them and pressed against your g-spot. A pathetically high-pitched moan left your throat and you clung onto his shoulders. Crowley let out a low groan when he felt your nails digging into his skin and his free hand started to pull at your hair again.

The pressure in your abdomen snapped and you came with a loud cry, finding a slower rhythm to ride out your orgasm until you lay on your back, panting. Crowley now hovered on top of you, his knees either side of your hips and you couldn’t help but lazily run your hands up and down his body to feel the soft skin underneath your fingers. He watched you, chuckling lowly before pressing a series of sloppy kisses along your neck. You sucked in your breath and tilted your head further to the side to give him a better access which he promptly rewarded by sucking your skin between his teeth. He bit down with just the right intensity so that it didn’t become too painful and you moaned, not caring about how you should cover up the bruises the next morning. Crowley slowly rolled his hips against yours and you could feel his erection brushing against your folds before he entered you in one slow thrust. Both of you threw your head back in unison and groaned at the feeling and for a moment nobody moved until Crowley became too impatient. He drew his hips back a little and slowly rolled them forwards again, setting a slow pace you soon grew unnerved at. But when you looked up to him you saw that smirk again, that mischievous glint in his eyes and you knew he did it on purpose, he wanted to watch you lose yourself and at this point you were far too worked up to resist. “Faster, please”, you begged and it came over your lips with a surprising ease. He immediately increased his pace, every thrust a little faster and a little harder than the one before until you could barely keep up. Once again you felt that delicious pressure building up and he was probably close as well because he lost his rhythm over and over again to thrust deeper into you. Your nails went up and down his back again, trying to get a grip on anything to anchor yourself. Your combined moans and the one and the other profanity became louder and Crowley reached down to rub your clit so you could get that little something you still needed to come. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer when his thrusts became erratic and your name slipped from his lips for the first time. He buried himself deeper inside you and came with an almost animalistic groan, his head thrown back and his eyes closed. That sound did it for you and you followed him over the edge just a few sloppy thrusts later, making him breathe out your name again as you shouted his.

The two of you lay there for a few more seconds until Crowley rolled off of you. You both stared at the ceiling, panting heavily and a tired smile was on your face. Now that it was over you should probably feel bad or something but to be honest, you didn’t. You felt more as if you were glowing, even the sticky sweat coating you didn’t bother you at all. Slowly your heartbeat set a more normal pace and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you wake up the next morning Crowley is gone. Little do you know that he has to wrap his mind around the situation as much as you have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a lot longer than I planned but I hit a major writer's block, school is a giant bitch and my Laptop broke and repairing it apparently took a whole week. But now I'm back again.  
> I'm really not satisified with this part because it was so hard giving Crowley feelings without going out of character but I did my best.  
> As always, my Tumblr is http://written-inkcompetence.tumblr.com/ and I hope you like this chapter. Tell me what you think.

When you woke up the next morning you were alone. Sure, you didn’t actually expect Crowley to stay with you all night he just wasn’t the type for that. But you still felt a mixture of disappointment and an emptiness that squeezed your heart together. You quickly put on sweatpants and a hoodie to hide the dark spot on your neck and went for a shower to wash that dried sweat and other remains of the night off your body. Good thing this wasn’t your own bed back at the bunker because otherwise you would probably have to change the sheets as well. Your whole body felt as if you had had a particularly exhausting and intense training session yesterday and by now you should probably feel bad for what happened and what you did but there was just this little glimpse of remorse, which was more of a nagging feeling that Sam and Dean would feel betrayed. Other than that you regret nothing. Not only had you thoroughly enjoyed yourself, it wasn’t like you expected this to happen again and hell, you were an adult, you could do whatever and whomever you wanted. Sure, sleeping with the enemy rarely proved to be a good idea but Crowley was more than a frenemy anyways. No problems on your side as long as Sam and Dean never ever found out about this.

Well, okay, there was still that tiny problem that you started to feel worse and worse when you thought about how the night most likely didn’t mean anything to Crowley at all. He had been incredible, not only the sex itself but the whole thing because he made you feel attractive and sexy and wanted and as if he cared about how you felt. You could feel yourself falling for him even more and you didn’t even think that was possible. With a sigh you started to pack your bag and prepare for leaving this dusty old dump of a house and finally get back to the bunker.

Meanwhile the King of Hell sat in his office and tried to focus on some paperwork. He usually found sex to be a great stress reliever and that he was far better at doing even tedious tasks like said paperwork when he had spent a fun night with someone. Today, however, that wasn’t the case. His thoughts kept drifting back to you all the time and he didn’t even know why. What was wrong with him? What was it that he felt? He certainly could not deny that it was a feeling and an unfamiliar one at that. Of course demons were not completely foreign to feelings. Hate, anger, loathing, satisfaction, fear and to a certain degree even happiness. But not many of these feelings were positive. He wasn’t even sure if this one was positive because in some way it reminded him uncomfortably of his blood addiction.

Crowley put his pen down and ran his hands over his face in a frustrated gesture. He would probably not be able to concentrate as long as you were on his mind so prominently so the best would be to figure out what the hell you did to him. Maybe a spell? There were a number of spells he could think of that had an effect like that. Most of them were love spells that created a certain obsessions with the person that had cast them but would you really do that? And did you even have the opportunity? Crowley didn’t exactly focus on his surroundings last night and of course he let his guard down but so did you. And he just couldn’t imagine a single reason why you would cast a love spell on him. Not because he doubted your massive crush on him but because he doubted you would ever do something like that. You were too good for that.  
And there was his main problem. He didn’t get you. Crowley thought of himself as someone who could read people like an open book, mainly because he could read their minds at any time. He had read yours from time to time ever since he knew you and what he saw always left him confused. You were a hunter so there was the usual pain, a bit of self-loathing and guilt, the tendency to view violence as a possible solution and all the other stuff anyone would find in a hunter’s brain. But there was also something completely different. Something warm and gentle, something caring and so much love for the ones you cared about. He had never been able to wrap his mind around the concept of love. Not as a human and certainly not as a demon. He knew the feeling in theory but the first time he assumed he had come in contact with it was last night.

Everything about you had been so caring and sincere when you bandaged his wounds. Was that was love is about? Caring? Did you feel some kind of love for him? He wanted you to. He had always wanted someone, anyone, to love him, to care about him, to appreciate him. He just never thought that the day might come where that was actually the case. Of course he could be wrong it wasn’t set in stone that you had any deeper feelings for him. Why would you. But just the possibility that it might be the case left him restless and confused and was probably the main reason why he couldn’t get you out of his mind.  
Was that what love is all about? Did he love you? No, he didn’t. There were no butterflies, he didn’t crave your presence per se and he didn’t felt like he saw the world through rose-coloured heart glasses. And demons couldn’t even love.

Maybe he had to figure out what he thought of you. Crowley had come to terms with the idea that you were much better company than most people. You were a little shy around him probably due to your crush, sometimes you would even respond to his flirting and contrary to most hunters you still had some manners. You listened to what he told you, didn’t interrupt him, actually considered his suggestions when he was forced to work with the Winchesters and sometimes when you began to loosen up a little you were quite sassy and even made him laugh from time to time. He would almost say he enjoyed your company.  
In addition to that he respected you. You were just as much a thorn in his side as the Winchesters which meant you were very good at what you were doing and took your job seriously. What did you once say? Hunting things and saving people was what it should be about and you tried to stick to that. You managed to keep a hold on some morals and virtues and even though it might not always be the smartest thing in your kind of lifestyle he couldn’t help but appreciate, if not admire your unwillingness to let the darkness around you consume you. He once went as far as taking a glimpse at your soul. It was just as damaged and tainted as every hunter’s soul was but there was still that bright spark that made it glow despite all the pain, the problems, the death and the alcohol.

Crowley sighed again. That was far more thinking about feelings than he had done in a long time and it left him uncomfortable and restless. And it made him feel weak. Something about you made him feel weak and there was nothing he hated more than when all control seemed to slip through his hands. He had to do something to get his control back again and at best it would do something about the insecurity that was nagging at him. He had to torture someone right now or he would go mad. With a snap of his fingers he teleported down into hell.

The late sun already painted the sky in an orange light when you arrived back at the bunker. During the whole trip you had desperately tried to sleep in the backseat but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. Luckily Sam and Dean were quite talkative with a hunt gone well and a good night’s sleep so they kept you from drifting off into thoughts too much. But since you couldn’t keep talking for a whole 7 hour drive (traffic’s a bitch normally it would have taken you like 5) the unwelcomed feeling of just being left crept up to you again. Why did life have to be so complicated? No, wait. Life wasn’t complicated. Feelings were. And you had to develop some for the King of fucking Hell of all people. Falling in love with a creature incapable of love – that was so much like you. It was basically what you were all about. The wrong feelings for the wrong people. If you really had to fall in love with someone you should have fallen for Sam or Dean or hell, even Cas would have been the better choice. Instead you loved the man you were supposed to hate and had secrets from the people you were supposed to trust. Congratu-fucking-lations.

Sam shot you a worried look. Maybe you should set up a list of how often he has done that in the last couple of hours. But he never asked. Neither of them asked. Of course they didn’t. They looked at your grumpy and absentminded expression and just assumed that you would talk about it whenever you felt like it because that’s what you always did. When something was bothering you, you took some time to blow off steam or think about it yourself and then if it was still important you would talk to the boys.

But this was nothing you could talk about with them. This mess was only yours and you would have to keep going until it resolved itself or shit hit the fan. You should have known better, known that having sex with Crowley would bite you in the ass immediately but since when were you known for making smart decisions anyway. Ever since you became a hunter your life had been a cocktail of bad decisions, horrible decisions and not-really-smart-but-they-were-your-best-bet-at-that-moment – decisions. Ignoring the brothers you grabbed your bag and made your way into your room where you flopped down onto your bed. For a moment you just laid there, breathing into your pillow until you eventually fell asleep.


End file.
